A new revelation has sent a multitude of slobs into festivity as they appear to be freed from ever having any responsibility in their lone bedroom. Children and students roam the streets to fill in the period of less than a minute that up until now was always to be dedicated to one thing only. Husbands no longer have to feel guilty about getting out of bed and immediately proceeding with their day, and wives no longer have to feel mad at their husbands, at least until they leave the bedroom and find another reason.
The reason for these life changing events? A study in Experimental & Applied Acarology shows that it is much healthier for you to stop making your bed in the morning.
People, rejoice! Precious few seconds a day have been graciously handed to us by the scientists who have discovered that an average bed houses up to over a million dust mites and making your bed actually improves the conditions for these troublemakers. An unmade bed creates unfavourable conditions for dust mites – they simply loathe the warm, bright, and dry atmosphere that unmade beds have, the same atmosphere which attempts to draw us back in bed once we get up and give it a longing glance. When you make your bed, you create a cool, dark and damp environment which is the dust mites’ preferred place of living. This means that all your life when you woke up and made your bed, you have only been inviting the germs to your bed – probably exactly why the bed is so cold at night when you first go under the covers and tremble, waiting for your heat to chase off the dust mites.
But now you know. You know how to deal with the horrible germs that gather around you and you were never aware of. Science has proven its usefulness once again, informing you of yet another microscopic life form out there trying to harm you. If the thought of sleeping in a bed where a million dust mites reside, then you are thinking too hard – the morning shower works just as well at removing the vermin from your body, and you can always practice a bigger dedication to home cleaning by washing your sheets on a daily basis. Daily home cleaning does not sound like a job you would prefer to do, and it is indeed mad unless you have OCD and both the thought of sleeping with millions of dust mites every night and not making your bed is unbearable, so the offered cure for that is to do weekly hot water washings for the bed sheets to artificially create the conditions which they resent.
This makes the day seem longer as you don’t have to deal with: ignoring the messy bed, the argument with your mother, girlfriend or wife about not making the bed, the feeling guilty part of the day until your conscience gets the better of you and you consent to making the bed, and especially the seconds required to actually make the bed. Imagine the productivity boost you will have now – much more time to devote to keeping the home clean. Now you will have time to make breakfast before work, time for carpet cleaning and vacuuming, time for window cleaning, and tending to the garden. You will no longer have to rely on cleaners as you will have the time healthcare services gave to you to deal with your own messes and stay healthy for longer.
So stop making that bed! It brings nothing but discomfort and night chill, and you will feel much better after you get up and are able to immediately get on with your day without looking back. No dust mites means less sneezing, less vulnerability to some diseases, and more peaceful nights spent in the middle of your comfortably ruffled sheets.